The creator of this website interviewed two experts on bullying. Look below for their responses.
Rhonda Bell - School Counselor
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Renale Giles - Certified Victim Services Representative for Safe Space
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1. What is bullying? Cyber-bullying?
Ms. Bell's Responses:Bullying - When someone with a real or perceived power uses that power to intentionally intimidate or hurt another and is repeated behavior (one time usually stems from conflict or misunderstanding but is misinterpreted as bullying)
Cyber-bullying - the same as bullying but uses widespread media as a vehicle to bully (can be worse because it follows a person everywhere); is very widespread and worse because it follows a child and he or she cannot get away from it |
Ms. Giles' Responses:Bullying is any repeated act of verbal communication done to another child over a period of time in order to cause them pain, discomfort, embarrassment, or sadness or to gain control over the other child
Cyber-bullying - Uses technology for harassment using Facebook (number one form of cyber-bullying), emails, cellphones; makes the person who is bullying anonymous and brave as compared to doing it in person |
2. What are the signs that someone is being bullied in the upper elementary grades?
1. Withdrawn behavior (actions different from the child's normal personality
2. Angry/sadness 3. Abnormally picking on younger or smaller child (acting out the actions done to them) 4. Grades drop 5. Isolated (doesn't talk to or play with other peers) |
1. The number one sign is the child not wanting to go to school (several days a week, anxiety while on the way to school, severe crying when getting up in the morning)
2. Change in the child's body language (head down, eye contact is avoided) 3. Little socialization with peers 4. Unexplained bruises, scrapes, or cuts 5. A sudden drop in academic performance 6. A child that often does not want to leave a teacher's side while on the playground 7. Loss of appetite and signs of sadness or depression |
3. What can teachers do about bullying in the upper elementary grades?
-Teachers should know the school's policy of bullying and the repercussions of bullying
-Teachers should be vigilant in watching the interactions of students -Privately question any abnormal behavior (for example, if two students normally play together and you see them not speaking) -Consistently discuss bullying with your students and how students can report bullying -Teach the opposite of bullying to your students (kindness, helping others) |
-Teachers should investigate ever report of bullying from a child and should make themselves available for students to report to.
-Teachers should remain vigilant in the classrooms, playground, cafeteria for bullying behaviors such as isolation or group bullying and notice the interactions and body language students exhibit with each other -Teachers should have a no tolerance policy for bullying. The bully behavior should be addressed and teachers should try to get to the root or reason why these behaviors are occurring. -Teachers should work with school counselors to help both the target of the bullying and the student who is exhibiting bullying behaviors |
4. What should students in the upper elementary grades do if they are being bullied (targets)?
-Learn the difference between conflicts and bullying
-Learn how to deal with conflicts so it does not turn into bullying -If they are being bullied or see an incident, report it until someone helps -Actively work on self confidence (practice holding head up, looking people into their eyes, talking clearly and loudly, and discussing what possible things to say or do if in a bullying situation) |
-Work on their self-esteem/confidence with the help of an adult
-Try walking away from or avoiding a bullying situation or use their self confidence to try a strategy (humor) to handle the situation -Share what they are experiencing with a trusted adult (report it) -If it is physical bullying, report it immediately |
5. What should students do if they see some else being bullied (bystanders)?
*If possible, get the target away from the bullying situation
*If the situation is getting out of control, report it to the closest adult as soon as possible *Students need to know it is their responsibility to report right away especially if someone uses their hands/body to hurt someone else |
*Never laugh at the target
*Of course, never join in *Report it for the target (can do it anonymously if scared) |
6. What can parents of upper elementary age students do if their child is being bullied?
*Work closely with the school staff on revealing information that a student has told a parent so everyone is aware of all needed information
*Devise a plan to keep students away from each other at all times *Parents are rightfully upset when their child is involved in a bullying situation; but staying calm and working with school staff can help prevent future incidents |
*Make sure they support their child
*Teach their child positive combative strategies such as appropriate comebacks self-esteem boosting *Ultimately, call a meeting with the teacher/counselor to get a better insight into the problem and dynamics of the situation *Assist in rebuilding and replacing the emotional stability of the child that may have been taken away from the situation |
7. How can an adult work with or help a student who is bulling others ?
1. Find out of the student understands he or she is perceived (say, "Others see you as a bully. Tell me your feelings about knowing others think of you this way")
2. If student knows and likes bullying behaviors, it will make it more difficult to help if families are not willing to get involved to support non-bullying behaviors 3. Work with the student and his or her family on anti-bullying behaviors (keep a journal of kind behaviors toward others each day, have them pick a role model to observe in class and report on how that person treats others) |
1. In reference to school teachers/counselors, find out whats going on at home (the child could possibly be a victim themselves)
2. Institute consequences, but also teach them positive conflict resolution 3. Self-esteem build with them 4. Get them to focus on and build upon their good/positive qualities |
8. What are some INEFFECTIVE ways to prevent bullying?
-Thinking it's a normal part of childhood and ignoring it
-Putting the target and student who showed bullying behavior together after repeated bullying incidents (these parties can work together if it is conflict but can be intimidating if true bullying; best to keep them separated) |
-Victim blaming (whether it is the target or the bully)
-Often times, parents make their child feel as if they are "weak" for getting bullied -Often times, a child who has exhibited bullying behaviors is labeled as a "bad child" instead of focusing on the why and what is causing the behavior -Consequences are needed, but labeling will not prevent bullying |
9. What can a community do to prevent bullying in the upper elementary grades?
1. Provide positive activities for kids, especially team oriented
2. DO NOT tolerate bullying in the community (some teams will kick students out if they exhibit bullying behaviors) 3. Teach the truth about the harm of TV, movies, and video games that promote and reward bullying behavior (make students see it is about making money; allow them to watch a clip of a video and point out behaviors that are inappropriate) |
1. Work together to teach children positive conflict resolution
2. NEVER tolerate or become a bystander to or for a bullying situation 3. Make sure that children are taught self-esteem boosting techniques at an early age 4. Work together to teach children empathy |
10. What resources can people turn to in order to prevent bullying?
stopbullying.gov website
stopbullyingnow.com |
Hazelden - Has great bullying materials
School counselor anti-bully presentations |
11. If there was one thing you think the world should know about bullying in the upper elementary grades, what would it by and why?
*Bullying is about power and bullies often target those they feel are powerless
*Everyone has power! We all have to learn how to use our powers in a positive way *Learn about your power and what makes you special and unique and then use that power to make friends who will help your power grow in a positive way and you help them the same way (find things you love to do and others who love them too) *DO NOT let others steal your power *Remind kids of their power can help them regain their confidence in order to deal with future bullying situations |
*Bullying in the upper elementary grades definitely has long term effects on it's victim and it can affect a child's quality of life and who they are as an adult
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